The following is a transcript of a conversation that Charles and I recorded a few days before Charles left China. This was a chance for us to reflect on the experience and capture the highs and the lows of the past 2 ½ years…
What was different than what we expected?

Chris: We had heard that it would be really difficult to get to know the culture/people here, and I didn’t find that to be the case at all. I’ve found the people here to be really fun and open, and I’m not sure why but I had expected that people would be very serious, closed off and slightly aggressive.
Charles: I think that may have something to do with Sichuan, because we’ve heard and seen that some of the personalities in places on the east coast like Shanghai are not as easy-going.
I was surprised by the level of consumerism and commercialism in China. In the first neighborhood we lived in, there were Porsche Cayennes parked on the sidewalks and the shops sold upscale items that seemed more expensive than those in the United States. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but something like the China you see in movies… crowded, sordid, and dirty. And there were parts of Chengdu like that but not where we originally landed. It seems like those parts of Chengdu are getting pushed out to certain suburbs and areas outside the cities.
What was the same as we expected?
Chris: I expected this experience to be really positive and exciting for us and that we’d make the most of it. It truly has been remarkable time in terms of what we have seen, what we’ve done and the people we’ve met.
Charles: Yeah, I agree… we’ve really taken advantage of being here in terms of visiting places within China and learning the language. On the flip side, one negative thing that was the same as what I expected and what I had heard about beforehand was the environment in terms of the pollution and bad weather.
Chris: I think that was actually worse than what I expected. The winters here with hardly any sun were really hard. I can’t believe that we had to buy a SAD (Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder) lamp. Thank god we don’t have another Chengdu winter to get through.
How did you do in terms of achieving the goals we wrote down soon after coming to China?

Charles: When I look at my goals, I think I did almost everything. For example, we went to almost all the places I wanted to visit. On the list I had written the Great Wall, Xian warriors, Li River, Harbin, and Leshan. I had also written the Yangtze River because of the Three Gorges, but after being here awhile and seeing some photos and hearing stories from others, I didn’t feel the need to go there. I also had other countries in East Asia to visit on
my list, but apart from the Philippines we didn’t have the chance to go to Vietnam or Cambodia. There was just too much to see in China. Hopefully we’ll get to these places in the next few years.
I had a language goal to be conversant in Chinese and I definitely achieved that goal. I didn’t write down anything about being able to read and write Chinese, but because of the language program I attended, I had to learn to read and write characters. And while it was really hard, I think it’s really cool that I can do this now.
I had a goal to find a job. I wanted to work legally in China, but in the end it seemed too dangerous in terms of not wanting to risk violating my student visa. However, I also had volunteer goals with youth development and the environment, and I was able to do a lot of that.
I also had personal goals. I wanted to lose weight and that was a huge success. I think I lost 45 pounds and that was mainly due to an active lifestyle. I also wrote that I wanted to have some good Chinese friends, and I definitely think we’ve done that. Lastly, I wanted to stay positive about living here and while there have been ups and downs, we’ve stayed really positive.
Chris: Yeah, that’s true – we have stayed extremely positive, especially compared to some other expats here who became really negative and critical of Chengdu and Chinese culture/people towards the end of their time here.
My list of goals was similar to yours. For example, I had a language goal of being able to talk to co-workers, taxi drivers, waiters without too much trouble and a goal being able to read Chinese. I definitely feel like I achieved that despite screwing up at the restaurant earlier today. I still feel your Chinese is much better than mine, especially in terms of writing characters and being able to understand TV/movies, but I can text message and email in Chinese and read most signs – that’s really rewarding. Just yesterday I had a positive language experience when I made that taxi driver laugh about feeling more comfortable after stopping to go to the bathroom. That is exactly the type of interaction I wanted to be able to have in Chinese.
Charles: I think that guy laughed for about five minutes about what you said.
Chris: In terms of the job, I had written down that I wanted to be successful and respected without too much stress and I have been able to achieve this balance. I also had a goal of getting involved with some volunteer work and with the English tutoring that I did for about 1 ½ years, I feel a sense of achievement with that.
Charles: And that tutoring has resulted in some of our closest friendships with Chinese people. The two families we got to know were so kind to us and it was wonderful sharing meals with them in their homes.
What is your favorite Chinese word or expression?

Charles: One of my favorites is “ma fan”, which basically is used to describe something that is a pain in the neck or a difficult thing to do. Another one is an expression that we learned early on – hao hao xuexi, tian tian xiang shang. This is a Mao expression that means, “Study hard day in and day out.”
Chris: My fa
vorite sayings were in the Sichuan dialect. I always thought it was funny when we asked a restaurant if they had a certain vegetable, and the quick response could be “mo dei”, which means we don’t have it. I also liked talking with the guards at the Peace Corps office and we would often exchange the greeting around lunch time of “Ni chi guo le ma, mei you?” which means, “Haven’t you eaten?” Around noon time this is a much more common expression than, “How are you?”
Who is the most interesting person who you’ve met here?
Chris: My first thought is Zhan Yimei, who was a co-worker who passed away from lung cancer about a year ago. I really enjoyed talking with her because she was so wise and had such a calming presence despite all she was going through. I also think about the gay couple who we got to know. They are such nice guys and it was great to get to know them while also understanding more about what they have to deal with in terms of being gay in China… to the extent that one of them had to go through with a wedding to a lesbian friend to relieve some of the pressure from his family – see Log 50.

Charles: We’ve met some really interesting people along the way but I don’t remember or know many of their names, like that one artist in Xian who made wood cutout prints of countryside and agriculture scenes. He was so charismatic and incredibly proud of his lifetime of work and the publicity that he had received in foreign periodicals.
What did you like most about living in China?
Charles: The food…how delicious it is, how cheap it is, how easily available it is. That is true not only for the Sichuan cuisine we appreciated quite often, but also for the fruits and vegetables that are available from folks selling their produce from carts along sidewalks. The taste of the produce without any of the preservatives that we’re used to in the States was amazing …granted we had to be careful about washing the veggies as many are grown using ‘night soil’, a.k.a. human excrement.
The people in general are genuinely nice and interested in other cultures and certainly not anti-American. We’ve already mentioned a few of these folks, but I also consider the folks we got to know in our nearby “alley”, like the people at the Yuan Yuan restaurant and the man who owned the small tea shop who always invited us to have tea with him. Lastly, I really liked how our bicycles were our main form of transportation.
Chris: I was just thinking about that today on my way home from work. I really like how we haven’t driven or had the urge to buy a car…it’s been good to reduce our carbon footprint while getting exercise wherever we wanted to go. A bicycle also provides the right speed to really appreciate the environment, like the willow trees along the river and the arched bridge that we crossed every day. I also liked that we learned how to use the buses to get around. It helped us save money and kept us safer as we didn’t want to ride our bikes at night.
What were your least favorite things about living here?
Chris: For me, it’s the crowds. There are just a lot of people here and there are moments when everyone seems to be in the same place all at once.
Charles: The one aspect of life in China that bothered me the most was Internet censorship. I really hate that I couldn’t keep in touch with my friends using Facebook. Our own blog and sites like YouTube were also blocked and in my opinion, that type of access to information is a freedom that shouldn’t be restricted.
The pollution was also something that got to me. There were days when I felt like I had smoked a pack of cigarettes (when I hadn’t) and that just can’t be good for our lungs.
What were your favorite restaurants?
Chris: The first thing that comes to my mind is the duck restaurant (Dadong) in Beijing – great duck and amazing sides like that ox tail dish. Closer to home, Yuan Yuan, our ‘alley’ restaurant, always served great food and the people were incredibly friendly/warm. It almost felt like being at home when we ate there.

Charles: The two times we went to M on the Bund in Shanghai were memorable for me. What fantastic, upscale western fare with one of the best views of the modern Pudong East skyscrapers and the traditional early 20th century buildings on the Bund… I can’t think of a better view in any other restaurant that I’ve been to.
What were your favorite dishes?
Chris: Su Jia Doufu from Yuan Yuan. This tofu dish, which was a unique specialty of this restaurant as most Sichuan people had never heard of it before, was fried with a slice of meat in the middle and a yuxiang sauce… delicious every time.
Charles: That dish was good. Tieban Riben Doufu (Japanese tofu in a hot skillet) was also really tasty.
Chris: How funny that our favorite dishes were tofu. I never liked tofu in the States, but the way they prepare it in China is totally different. That’s something I will miss tremendously.
Charles/Chris: Pretty much all the Sichuan dishes – Gongbao jiding (Kung Pao Chicken), Yuxiang Qiezi (Fish fragrant eggplant), Ganbian Tudou Si (Fried thin potato sticks). It’s hard to pick just one because they’re all so good. The winter vegetables were also the best – bai you cai (rapeseed) and wandou jian (pea leaves) were fantastic from fall to winter.
What were you favorite trips?

Chris: First trip outside of Chengdu to Lijiang, Yunnan. After our first five months in Chengdu, the blue skies and bright sunshine of Lijian were incredibly refreshing. The old town was scenic with the small canals. We rented bikes one day to see the countryside and visit two small towns, the day-trip to Tiger Leaping Gorge (despite the scary rebar ladder that we had to climb to get out of the gorge). It just seems like we did a lot there and it was such a wonderful break from the gloomy Chengdu winter.
Charles: I really liked Tibet. I wish you could have gone too because it was a magical place, steeped in so much tradition. The people there are so warm and friendly despite all the struggles they’ve experienced since the 1950s.
Chris:
I wish I could have gone, but at least I was able to experience Tibetan culture near Jiuzhaigou in northern Sichuan. That village homestay was such a fascinating experience in a beautiful natural setting. I’m so glad that we experienced that homestay as well as the beautiful natural wonder of Jiuzhaigou twice – first with Edith and Gloria and then with Begona’s family. Those trips had so many picturesque, breathtaking scenes that are so clear in my mind.
Charles: The beauty there was amazing – on par with the beauty of Yangshuo (karst mountains), which we shared with Mary. I’m glad that most of our best trips were with visiting family and friends.
What was the scariest moment for you?
Chris: Without a doubt, it would have been to be the Sichuan earthquake. What a terrifying event.
Charles: What was even more terrifying was the aftermath. Not only did we have the frequent aftershocks, but there was an overwhelming sense of paranoia from the general population that was partly caused by specific government predictions of aftershocks during certain time periods. People slept in tents and their cars for almost two weeks and their fear was contagious. What an awful and horrible period. Thank god we got out of here and flew to Xian with Mary to get away from that stress.
Chris: It was also frightening the two times when Marley got sick. We both thought that we might lose her. Thank god for the vets here who helped us get her well again.

What was the most beautiful site you saw?
Chris: Gliding down the Yulong River in Guangxi on a bamboo raft with a cold beer in hand as we took in the views of the karst mountain peaks in one of the most peaceful scenes and one so iconic of China.
Charles: First time I saw the Potala Palace in Lhasa against the most crystal blue sky I think I’ve ever seen. And then there was the morning we woke up to the snow-covered Jiuzhaigou Tibetan village and the subsequent ride away from that village and the Jiuzhaigou valley. What an amazing landscape that seemed to be and it seemed like a painting had come to life.
Is there anything you would have done differently?
Charles: My initial approach to learning Chinese was too stressful during the first year or so. I thought it got in the way of us doing other things in the evenings and on weekends.
Chris: But I think it was good that you took it seriously because it kept you interested/engaged.
Charles: You’re right… it definitely allowed me to interact independently from my spouse and create my own circle of friends. But, I still think I put too much pressure on myself regarding homework, studying for tests and thinking about taking the HSK exam (national exam for Chinese learning; similar to the TEFL exam in the States). I’m really happy with the results of my language abilities, but perhaps I could have taken it more in stride.
Chris: I wish I had learned to cook Sichuan dishes earlier. I also think there are a lot of places that I wish we had visited like Inner Mongolia, the central provinces west of Shanghai and Xinjiang.
Charles: Yeah, maybe we should have planned the trip to Xinjiang earlier. Although we couldn’t have predicted the timing of the civil unrest that occurred there in June 2009, if we had planned to go last year it would have given us more options in case problems arose between the Uighurs and the Han Chinese.
What accomplishment are you most proud of?
Chris: I am most proud of what I’ve been able to do as the Peace Corps Admin Officer especially in terms of the relationships I have developed with the local staff. At the same time, I’m very content with what I hear Volunteers tell me such as, “You’d make a great country director… you’re the person we go to with any questions.” It has been a very rewarding work experience and I feel like I’ve made a small difference in the lives of the people I work with and the volunteers I support.
Charles: I am really proud that neither of us became bitter or sour about the experience, especially after hearing Mary describe “vinegar lady” in Micronesia. And we definitely ran into foreigners here who had an anti-China outlook and I looked at them and thought that they should just leave. If you’re not going to make the most of this place and appreciate the differences, then get out. China is just not going to change for you.
I am also proud that we came out as a gay couple to the staff of Peace Corps in a slow, culturally-sensitive way. The goodbye party that the staff organized for me was so touching and meant so much to me.
Chris: That goodbye party was incredibly special. I think it was a testament to you and your outgoing personality. The staff loved you and really appreciated your presence whenever you came to the office either for social events or to help them with presentation skills training, and they appreciated the parties we hosted at our apartment, including the “cooking class” that you organized.
Charles: Wow, this was really a long conversation.
Chris: But, it was important to reflect and capture our thoughts before you head off to Manila next week.
Charles: It’s hard to believe that this experience is ending, but the timing feels right to leave… bye China!
Chris: Zai jian! (Literally, see you again!)