Chengdu Chronicles

Log 50: A Chinese Wedding

Sometime near the end of my second semester of Chinese study, one of the chapters that my class was studying focused on the various aspects of a Chinese wedding.  The intent of the chapter was to introduce us foreigners to the characteristics of a traditional Chinese wedding, as well as to introduce us to wedding-related vocabulary (married- yihun, wedding- jiehun, groom- xinlang, bride- xinniang).  The book that Chris uses to study Chinese also contained a similar chapter.  The information presented was interesting and as a result both of us were eager to participate in a Chinese wedding. 

We have had a few invitations over the last couple of years, but those were all from friends who were invited guests at other people’s weddings.  They invited us to be their guests because they knew that we were interested in attending a wedding, but we gratefully declined those invitations because we felt it would be weird to attend a wedding when we knew neither the bride nor the groom.  However, a couple of weekends ago we (and our American friend- Kayte) were fortunate to have been able to attend the wedding of a friend of ours, allowing us to finally participate in a “traditional” Chinese wedding.  Weddings here have adopted some western influences as well, and it’s the combination of old and new practices that makes a Chinese wedding so interesting.

Early on the day of the wedding, there is a traditional cultural event that occurs at the home of the bride during which the groom and his party “pay and bribe” (with actual cash) their way through several locked doors behind which the bride has been hidden away.  After they finally gain access to her she is then whisked away to prepare for the courthouse ceremony (this administrative aspect of the wedding isn’t attended by guests).  This all occurs fairly early in the day (starts around 6 am on the day of the wedding) and we were invited to attend this as well, but we gratefully declined because as interested as we were in witnessing this interesting cultural ceremony, it was just way too early for us.

The presentation ceremony and lunch scheduled for noon were held in the largest room of a banquet hall near the center of town.  Well in advance of their weddings, Chinese couples schedule professional photography sessions which involve travelling all over the region in tuxedos, suits, and various dresses to take pictures for what eventually becomes a high school yearbook sized wedding photo album.  The best picture is then selected to be blown up into a giant sized (4ft by 4ft) poster of the couple that is displayed near the entrance of the banquet hall.  Our friends selected a beautiful picture of themselves with the interesting caption:  “My heatl [sic] will go on” written in script across the top of it (yes, unfortunately there was an English error/ typo in their Celine Dion quote:  “My HEART will go on”).

Immediately inside the hall’s entrance stood the bride and groom (with their best man and maid of honor).  Per tradition the bride offered us a cigarette from the tray that her bridesmaid carried and lit them for us.  At this time, guests give the hongbao to the groom.  Directly translated, hongbao means “red envelope” and is a special red envelope that often contains the Chinese characters for the word fu which means good fortune, or the shuangxi characters which literally means “a pair of joy” printed on the outside.  If you’ve been to any wedding in which at least one person has Chinese background you would have likely seen the “double happiness” characters somewhere during the wedding.   The inside of the hongbao contains cash, the amount of which is significant.  Numerology is vitally important in China with certain numbers being more appropriate than others for gift giving.  For example you can’t give an odd amount for a gift because it is unlucky to give a couple an odd amount of cash (one and three are particularly bad numbers because they imply divorce or an extramarital affair!).  You also can’t give four because the pronunciation, si is a synonym for the word that means “death”.   Therefore the typical amount for a wedding gift is 200 RMB.  At this point I hope you’re getting a sense of how complicated this can be and why there was more than enough wedding related subject matter to provide a lengthy text in our language textbooks.

The groom handed the hongbao over to his best man for safe-keeping.  By the time we arrived and added our hongbao to the lot, they already had a pretty full purse of red envelopes.  In China it is considered VERY poor form to open gifts in front of the giver, so the hongbao are kept safe until the end of the night when the bride and groom can privately open all of the envelopes to count their cash.

One interesting thing that we noticed rather quickly was that dress of the other wedding guests was very casual, even by American standards.  Some guests even wore shorts and t-shirts.  The bride wore a foreign-style white wedding dress (per our western traditions) and the groom wore a short sleeved shirt with a tie (it was a very hot day).  We were wearing suits (without the jackets), long sleeved shirts, and ties, and we were among the best dressed (and the sweatiest) people at the wedding.

In the large ceremony/dining hall we selected the best un-reserved seats for viewing the action.  At every place setting there was a small container of hard candy, another traditional Chinese custom.

The best man soon found us at our seats and informed us that they had planned for us to have a special role to play in the ceremony.  Chris and I were going to be responsible for the “confetti cannons”, which are large tubes that, when ignited (by twisting), emit an explosive burst of confetti.  We were situated on the right-hand side of the stage, while our other friends were on the left.  The couple entered the room through a silk flower covered archway to the tune of, “I am your lady, and you are my man” from none other than Celine.  They walked down the center aisle and approached the table where their parents sat (located near the front of the stage).  The best man and maid of honor held trays with pairs of tea cups on them.  The groom presented the tea to the bride’s parents and the bride presented tea to the parents of the groom.

After that, the couple took to the stage, some words of congratulations were said by the master of ceremony and they were formally presented to the audience as a “married couple” (igniting a flash of sparkling fireworks-- which was our cue to shoot the confetti- paying special attention as to not break the crystal chandeliers that were hanging above the stage)!  The bride was whisked away to change into her second (of three) dresses of the day.  In most cases the bride changes from a western white wedding dress to a traditional Chinese qipao.  In this case, however, the bride opted for a more modern mini-dress.

After this, the rest of the ceremony was similar to that of a wedding in the US, but with some minor differences.  For example, rather than buffet style or  “sit down” where each plate is a complete meal, the waiters started piling various dishes onto the large lazy-susan in the center of each table and the guests began to eat “family style”.  I should note that the dishes were quite “special”, which is a euphemism for “bizarre”…….even by Chinese standards.  Duck tongues, chicken feet, pig knuckle soup, and dishes comprised of various organs.  Not typical “everyday” foods, but expensive delicacies, some of which have special significance and meaning.

After the large meal, guests usually retire to the adjacent tea-room to sit, chat, rest, or play mah-jhong.  We had decided that we had successfully fulfilled our goal of participating in a Chinese wedding and headed home to rest, and to reflect on the experience.  All in all, we found that the chapters that we studied in our texts were pretty accurate….. or in other words you might say that the wedding we attended was a “textbook” traditional Chinese wedding…(HA!)….for the most part, at least.

We are really thankful to our friends for inviting us to participate in their wedding.  It was an extremely interesting experience for us, not only because it was very traditionally Chinese but also because it was a total and complete sham. 

The groom, you see, is gay.  The best man is his partner.  The bride?  A lesbian.  And the maid of honor was her partner.  The current situation for Chinese gays and lesbians is such that MANY of them undergo these types of weddings….staged mainly for the benefit of their parents, families, and co-workers. It seemed to us to be disturbingly reminiscent of the United States in the 1950s- when societal pressures forced many people into similar marriages of convenience.  For our Chinese friends, however, it is a current fact of life, and the Chinese “one-child policy” has upped the pressure for them to get married. 

This experience was an interesting and important reality check for us.  Our society in the United States has progressed so incredibly far from the days of legal discrimination against gays and lesbians, when it was ok to fire people from their jobs based solely on their sexual orientation and when upwardly mobile gay (closeted) professionals had to take on a spouse if they dreamed of continued promotion. 

At times we still see disappointing reminders that the American society still has very far to go.  Last fall, the result of the Proposition 8 vote in California was extremely disappointing, and was a dangerous step backwards.  However, the subsequent support of gay marriage in Iowa, Maine and New Hampshire, and the public outcry over the California decision, give us hope that things will continue to change in the direction of equality. 

Our gay Chinese friends would give anything to have the freedoms that we have in the US.  They were brought to happy tears by the photos of our wedding in Canada, where we were surrounded by our wonderfully supportive family and friends and embraced for a short time by a small Canadian town.  Despite their situation they maintain a positive outlook, counting themselves lucky to at least have the option of marrying lesbians, creating a situation that is mutually beneficial, and lamenting the situation for gays and lesbians who are not in major cities and who still enter in marriages with spouses that are unaware of their orientation.  They were also inspired by our photos and are hopeful that one day the two men getting married in the pictures might actually be them (and should that day come, rest assured that we will strongly advise them to avoid the cheesy poster-photo in the doorway!!). 

Please note:  for obvious reasons we have obscured the identities of the Chinese people in these photos.

Log 49: 100 Lists

Ghetto blasters, phony jewels
Cathedrals, castles, making up rules
Trashy novels and leather gloves
This is a list of the things I love
CHORUS
I am the girl of 100 lists
From what shall I wear
To who I have kissed
Check items off
Let nothing be missed
Sing I to myself and my 100 lists

Pick up your laundry, doctor's at ten
We're out of toothpaste, rehearsal (again)
Stop by the bank and cash my pay
These are the things I must get done today
CHORUS
I am the girl of 100 lists
From what shall I wear
To who I have kissed
Check items off
Let nothing be missed
Sing I to myself and my 100 lists

The above song, “Girl of 100 Lists” is one of my favorite songs by the Go-Gos.  Like the majority of their songs, it’s bouncy, happy, and very Californian (SOUTHERN Californian I should clarify), and its topic:  “list making”, is something that I can totally relate to.  I get a lot of simple and pure joy from the process of writing things down in a list, reviewing them, prioritizing them, categorizing them, and (bliss!!) checking them off. 

I am the guy of 100 lists.  I have lists for everything.  One of my favorites is the one that I’ve dubbed my “Three-syllable City Tour” which is a worldwide list of cities that I want to visit during my lifetime.  To me there’s something extra special about a city that has three-syllables in its name:  Istanbul, Singapore, Manila, Kathmandu, Jakarta, Marrakesh, Zanzibar, Timbuktu……. Just saying them out-loud conjures images of exciting and exotic locations.  Try it……. “Is-tan-bul”, “Zan-zi-bar”…… how could you NOT want to go there?!?!?  (I’ve already been to a fair number of them….)

We recently saw “The Bucket List”, a movie starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman who play two men with terminal illnesses who create lists of things that they want to do before they “kick the bucket”.  Terminal illness was the impetus for writing their lists, and the lists were their guides through to the end.  I think it’s unfortunate that they waited until they were dying to do this, though better late than never I suppose.  As these men worked toward ticking all of the items off of their lists, the themes of the movie became evident: identify what’s important to you and follow your dreams. 

There’s power in the writing of a list.  A list can focus your future, while also cataloging your past.  Lists can both motivate the uninspired and reign in the spontaneous.  They’re both finite and limitless.  In some cases, even when the actual physical list is itself long gone, what you wrote is printed in indelible ink somewhere in your subconscious.  The list sits there in your head, influencing your life decisions without you even realizing it, and as you go through life you mentally check things off and add to it as well.

Back in college I made such a list.   I wish I could say that the list-making procedure was part of some grand project, an assignment from a creative-writing teacher or some self imposed task to help me focus my future and maximize my education.  However, the sad fact of the matter is that the list’s creation was a result of being bored to tears.  I created the list while trying to study Bio-chemistry (hence the “bored to tears”) with one of my best college-friends Christine, in the below-ground level of the SDSU library.  Active discussion is allowed in this section of the library, which was a rule that I’m sure the administration meant to help foster collaborative studying.  In actuality, the policy made the area a magnet for the very large segment of the SDSU student population who knew that they had to study, but didn’t necessarily want to study, and felt that a good compromise was going to the library and chatting with their friends over open textbooks.

I can’t remember which one of us was the first to say the words:  “I’ve always wanted to….,” but the process of list-making quickly snow-balled from there.  At one point, we both realized that we should write things down, probably more for the sake of comparison than record keeping.  Our lists contained things from the banal:  “learn how to windsurf”, “learn how to play the guitar”, “learn a foreign language”; to the fantastic:  “live on an island”, “backpack around the world”, “perform in a musical production”; and the inspired:  “have careers that help people”, “write a book”, “change the world” etc.  It would be safe to say that this was probably one of the best study sessions that I’ve ever had.  We kept our lists and added to them over the next few days and a sure sign of our compatibility was that many of the same items appeared on both of our lists.

I wish I knew where my list ended up.  It’s highly unlikely that I threw it away, and it’s probably tucked away in my Bio-chem textbook, stored in a box at my parent’s house in San Diego.  Fresh from the process of making the list, I decided to fill gaps in my following semester schedule with “Beginning Guitar” and “Beginning Windsurfing” classes (one of the many benefits of attending San Diego State University was the fact that “Recreation” was a popular major there and the PE classes offered to students included such fun classes as:   sailing, windsurfing, and sea kayaking).  Over time, the pursuit of items on the list became less and less conscious.  When I eventually applied to the Peace Corps I was given a choice of countries by my Placement Officer (this is extremely rare).  She said I could choose between Nepal and Tonga.  Either would’ve been great….. but a little voice in my head encouraged me to chose the South Pacific over the Himalayas-- I only remembered that I had written that on a list some time after I had arrived in Tonga!  It’s interesting how powerfully the subconscious mind can act upon these things.  That voice in our heads can be pretty persuasive and I imagine my own brain’s running commentary went something like this: 

Brain:  “Oooooh…. The South Pacific…. Don’t you remember?  We’ve always wanted to live on an island!  Yes, I know that seeing Mt. Everest was also on your list, but you can do that later.  How often do you think you’ll get an opportunity to live on an island for two years?  Really……. this decision is a no-brainer.  Pun intended.  Heh!  Heh!”

Apparently my brain thinks it’s funny.

After my Peace Corps service was finished I could’ve returned directly to the United States, but a nagging desire to “backpack around the world” made me walk into the ONE bookstore in Nuku’alofa (the capital of Tonga) to buy a world map that I hung on my living-room wall and  studied endlessly, in planning what became a seven month trip that started in Tonga, went up through New Zealand, Australia, into SE Asia, across to NE Africa, up into Europe, to the East Coast of the United States and eventually back home to San Diego.  There have since been many other examples of items on my list popping up unexpectedly, like the time I made the spur-of-the-moment decision to attend try-outs that were being held at the National Theater in Washington DC., for a role in the national touring show of “Rent”.

List making is a valuable tool for life planning, especially when trying to plan the lives of TWO people.  If a list-making exercise for couples isn’t already a required process in a couples-counseling session, I think it absolutely should be.  The process starts with the couple making individual list of the things that they want to accomplish during a period of time (Chris and I prefer five year increments).  Ample time should be allowed for each individual to write a list that fully encompasses their dreams and goals for the next five years of their lives.  The goals can be completely individual (ex. “get a PhD”), or goals for the couple (ex. “buy a house”).  When the individual list-making process is complete, the couple then shares their lists. 

(Here’s where the process can get a little dicey…..).  The couple then combines the two lists into one shared “couple” list of agreed upon items that they’ll attempt to achieve together over the next five years.  This process involves identifying their shared items, prioritizing items, and then negotiation regarding editing or deletion of the unshared items.  For example, if one person has “have a child” on their list and the other doesn’t….. well……it’s probably better that they discuss this sooner rather than later don’t you think?  That’s what this process does best.  It puts it all out there.  It demands discussion between two people and bypasses the ineffective and frustrating ways that people in a relationship sometimes use to try to communicate about the things that are important to them….. hints, innuendo, implication.  If you‘ve never done this before, I suggest that you give it a try…… you might be surprised with what you discover about yourselves and your partners.  I can totally imagine a smart couple like the Obamas going through this process:

[It is 2005.  Barack and Michelle Obama are sitting in their downtown Chicago loft apartment discussing their recently-created five year lists.]

Barack:  Ok….. what’s on your five-year lists?

Michelle:  I’ve got “write a book”, “advance National Service in this country”, “get a dog—that one is for the girls”, “move into a house with a bigger yard—for previously mentioned dog”, “meet Bono”…..

Barack:  That one’s ALWAYS on your lists…..

Michelle:  And it always will be until I meet the guy…..  and your list?

Barack:  I’ve got “reform health care”, “improve the country’s education system”, “make the United States a global leader in green-energy”, “improve our country’s global image”,  “meet Bruce Springsteen”……

Michelle:  And how do you plan on getting all of THAT done in five years?!?!?

Barack:  Via the first item on my list….. “run for President of the United States….”

Michelle:  <Gack!>…..I’m not so sure…..

Barack:  Aw c’mon!  It’s been on my bucket list since I was eight years old!  Think about it….. if we win you could work on expanding national service in America, and the house that we would move into has a pretty nice yard….fenced and everything.  I promise we’ll get a dog for the girls, and as President and First Lady of the United States of America, Bono and Bruce will probably want to meet us….

Michelle:  Hmmmm….I like the sound of that…..ok then, let’s go for it….  “Mr. President”- hah!

 

So with a little over six months left in China we’ve been thinking seriously about what our next steps should be.  It would seem that we have some good options.  What do we want to do next?  Where do we want to live?  Are there things that we wanted to do in China that we haven’t done yet (actually, the decision to move to China helped me strike more than a few things off of my lists:  terracotta warriors, Tibet, the Great Wall, Mandarin,…..)?   Our last five-year list had “live and work overseas together” on it (which we can now check off!) and now it’s probably time for us to start working on another five-year list.  And who knows?  It might even include a trip to Nepal’s “Kath-man-du”, enroute to seeing Mt. Everest…..

            Brain: “Now you’re talking!!!  That’s a two-fer!”

Yeah…. I thought you’d like that…….

Log 48: A funny thing happened.....

In Chris’ last blog he explained why there has been a little bit of a dry-spell of blogs of late.  We’ve both been pretty busy—trying to figure out what our next steps (post China) are going to be, going to school, going to work….. nothing too out of the ordinary.  It appears that there hasn’t been a lot going on in here lately.  Or perhaps it’s that now, after almost two years here, things just don’t seem as wacky or interesting as they might have when we first arrived.  Things that may have turned our heads and made us gawk a year ago are now things that we just walk-by, hardly noticing.  This can tend to happen to people when they’ve lived in a place long enough to have gotten really comfortable, and is the reason why a person can end up with 100 pictures of the place that they vacationed at for a week, but only a handful of pictures of the home  that they lived in for 10 years. 

In retrospect, however, we’ve had some observations and experiences that maybe wouldn’t warrant a full blog, but when gathered together make for a nice collage of random “only in China” events that we should probably document.  After all, these are the things that make life here distinctly different from anywhere else that we’ve lived and when this is all over, they’re the things that we’re going to want to remember.

Where to begin…….?

Mariah Carey’s anniversary party perhaps?  It should come as no surprise that Mariah’s domination extends all the way out here to Chengdu.  In fact her fans here have been throwing her an annual party for several years, the pictures from which are later displayed on Mariah’s official fan site.   This year, the party’s organizer was a former student of a Chinese friend of ours and it was held in a gay club called “Connections”.  You can imagine what it was like:  blaring Mariah Carey music (check), lots of young gay guys and their gal-pals (check), bigger-than-life-sized posters of Mariah on every wall (check, check, check, and check).  What we certainly didn’t expect was the VIP treatment and the seats reserved for us near the stage.  We didn’t expect that Gavin, a strapping straight Scottish lad and the most unlikely person in our large group to end up being a serious Mariah fan, would know enough Maria trivia to win a prize during the Mariah trivia contest!  We definitely didn’t expect the electricity to go out during our friend Shirley’s karaoke rendition of “Hero”, and we MOST CERTAINLY didn’t expect to find the entire crowd (us included!) waving candles and lighters in the air and singing along with her…… in the dark!!

 

Hooters-  Our very good friend, Joanne, was leaving China and to send her off “in style” we took her to Hooters.  Walking through the Hooters front door is always a little disorienting.  Outside, it’s China, but inside it’s a slightly disturbing version of Americana.  Joanne has spent much of her recent years overseas and had never been to Hooters, though I should point out that the likelihood of her never going to Hooters regardless of where she lived is fairly high.  I should also point out that Joanne is an infamous trickster.  She plays some of the best practical jokes of which both of us have been victims.  Chris and I decided that Hooters would be the ideal place to get her back in-kind.

We arrived early and informed the staff and management that we were celebrating the departure of a very dear friend.  We told a fictitious story of how she paid her way through med-school (she really is a medical professional) back in the early 1980’s by working at the original Hooters in Clearwater, Florida.  Yes…. she was one of the original Hooter-girls and this is why we chose Hooters for her goodbye celebration because it has always held a special place in her heart, and would they mind making her departure celebration “extra special” for her by giving her a rousing welcome and presenting her with her own official “Hooters-Chengdu” tank-top uniform?  They were very gracious and happy to oblige, and when Joanne finally arrived, every girl in the place converged in a rousing rendition of “You are my Sunshine”.  The look on Joanne’s face was priceless, especially when they started saying things like “you still look like a beautiful Hooter’s girl”!!  Ever the trooper, Joanne recognized the joke and played along and everyone had a great time. 

 

Militant Hair-dressers.  Those of us who live here know that it isn’t uncommon to see restaurant, retail, and salon staff involved in pre-work shift exercise drills.  I’m not quite sure why they do this.  Maybe it’s something that they teach in Chinese business school?  Imagine that you’re walking by a Korean restaurant, for example.  All of the wait-staff (girls) are dressed in beautiful traditional Korean dresses and standing in a line.  Their manager (also a woman, but she gets to wear a business suit) is barking at them, military style.  They’re barking back, in unison.   I’ve never stopped to try to understand what they’re actually saying.  I imagine it’s something like:  “Are we going to kick some food-service butt today!?!?!?”   “Yes ma’am!!  Boo-yah!!!!” 

But the absolute worst is when the hairdressers are out on the sidewalk in front of their salons, lined up before their manager.  The reason that it’s so bad is because their hair styles are always so ridiculous.  You remember men’s hair-styles from the 80’s (think Andre Agassi or Duran Duran)?  Well… add a crimping iron and some “Sun-in”, and you’ve got “Chinese hair-dresser guy hair”.  And while they’re lined up like this, before the hundreds of people on their commutes to work, it looks to the entire world like a hair-pageant gone horribly, horribly wrong.  Add the military chants and some jumping jacks, and you’d swear that somewhere between home and this salon you’d fallen into the Twilight Zone…..

 

Fish that eat dead skin.  Just the thought of it incites shiver inducing memories.  Some Chinese friends of ours had invited us out to Mianyang, a town north of Chengdu that is famous for its hot springs.  Neither Chris nor I are big fans of hot spring spas, even though the curative powers of soaking your body in really hot sulfurous water are legendary (but unproven?).  The smell isn’t pleasant.  In fact, it downright stinks.  That said, the spa that we stayed at was very nice, and the various outdoor soaking pools were interesting (they had one in the yin/yang shape where one side was infused with milk and the other side with coffee, and a cluster of six that were all infused with different kinds of flower teas).  The MOST interesting pool, however, was the small one full of thousands of small fish. 

These inch-long fish are a schooling fish that the spa advertises as being expert skin cleaners.  Their diet:  dead skin.  I’m not quite sure why I thought this experience might be pleasant.  Perhaps it was the brochure picture of the beautiful lady lying serenely in the pool, or perhaps it was the fact that this was the only pool that didn’t have sulfur in it and the stench was really getting to me.  In any case I convinced everyone (they were all reluctant and it took some serious convincing) to join me in the fish pool. 

After keeping very still the fish slowly approach you.  They tend to concentrate on your feet and legs, sending in a few “scouts” to check it out before the whole school moves in for a feast.  Their nibbling, while not overtly painful, was also not really “pleasant” per se.  It felt like bunches of little needles poking at your skin.  People have endured worse in the name of beauty, and if it started to hurt too much, all you had to do was shake them away.  It all took a very bad turn, however, when our friend allowed them to graze on his back for just a little too long.  At one point almost every fish in the large pool was on him, many were partially above the surface of the water trying to get to him….the water was churning…..it looked like a Lilliputian-piranha feeding frenzy.  We all were thoroughly grossed out yet fascinated (in an “ooohh….. this is just like a nature documentary!” kind of way) and the rest of us got out of the pool to take pictures of the scene.  The next day after breakfast, our friend showed us the five or so large scars that he had on his back.  The fish had apparently broken his skin.  In essence, they had been eating him……alive.  Ick!

 

Evangelical proselytizers- Speaking of “ick”…….. I’m pretty certain that there are few people in this world that can- in the way that I can- attract every single Christian in the room who feels the need to “save” someone.  Like vultures to something rotten, they home in on me from far and wide.  If I sound a little perturbed, it’s because I am.  Back when I was a student at SDSU I was a frequent (as in several times weekly) target of “Church of Christ” recruiters  who would approach me as I sat on the grass under a tree, while sitting outside the bookstore waiting for my work-shift to start, or pretty much any time that I was alone.  Their methods were predictable, two people would approach and one would say something to start a conversation such as:  “Hey that’s a cool backpack.” (seriously, someone said that to me once).  Invariably I would be invited to bible study and when I politely refused they would sadly shake their heads and pray for me.  I really disliked those people for the way that they tried to impose their views on others and for their condescending attitude for people who didn’t agree with them.  I disliked them even more when I learned about their organizational structure and their recruitment techniques.  They target the people that they perceived as being “lost” or “lonely”, the timid type that they figured had nothing better to do than go to their bible-study, who would be more than willing to join their cult in the end.  The last thing that they expected from me (because apparently I fairly reeked of “timid, lost and lonely” to all of them), was a stern and unyielding (and devoid of politeness):  “Get the FU** away from me.”   But I digress……. 

Proselytizing, if you weren’t already aware, is illegal in China.  I’m not quite sure what the penalty for proselytizing is, but I imagine that in the least the activity would get a person kicked out of the country.  This hasn’t stopped religious zealots from developing devious ways to sneak in.  I’ve heard that a favored approach is to create “fence” teaching operations to import english teachers and their supplies (read:  “recruiters and their bibles”) and then starting illicit “home churches”.  Chengdu, it would seem, is a hotbed for this activity but until very recently we’ve never witnessed it.  This all changed however, when I was sitting at Starbucks one afternoon, reading (ironically enough) “New Moon” the second in the series of Vampire themed teenage-romance novels.  A young American woman approached me to ask if she could sit at the chair across from me.  I thought it was odd, seeing as there was nobody else in the place and there were about 50 or so available seats, but I said “sure” and went back to my reading.  I had a good guess where this was heading….. I have a fairly developed “sense” about these people.  Before long she asked me what I thought about the book (I’ve read that they take classes on how to approach people but it still always comes off as completely disingenuous to me), she proceeded to tell me that she loved the books that I was reading, and (incredulously) she found a way to insert God in our discussion about Werewolves and Vampires.  It was ridiculous and I had no desire to discuss God with a total stranger in a Chengdu Starbucks.  But I’ve mellowed slightly over the years.  Instead of cussing her out as I would have 15 years ago (too immature) or asking her to leave me alone (not dramatic enough), I casually mentioned that I had Chinese friends who work for the PSB (Public Security Bureau- aka Chinese policemen) who were, in actuality, as fictitious as the book that I held in my hand.  This had the desired effect however:  she blanched slightly; she quickly excused herself, and then she left me to my reading-- and hopefully in the future she’ll think twice about the next time she decides to bother someone who is reading alone at a Chinese Starbucks.

Chinese exercise.  The older generations of Chinese people firmly bought into the message of “strong body, strong country” espoused by Chairman Mao.  On a rainy day in Chengdu, we need just look outside our back window to see that almost every balcony has someone’s grandparents on it doing their morning calisthenics.  When it isn’t raining, they’re up bright and early and spread across the complex grounds playing badminton, doing taichi, or using the equipment located around our complex (and throughout the city) that is specially designed to facilitate exercise for adults. 

There’s one guy who lives in our complex who we find particularly fascinating to watch.  When my sister Gloria was visiting us we would sit on the balcony, drinking our coffee while watching him do his routines in the courtyard below.  We ingloriously dubbed him “Mr. Slowly-walks-back-and-forth Guy” because unlike everyone else, all pumping arms and kicking legs, our pal (as his name implies) gets his workout by slowly walking back and forth across the courtyard.  It’s really more of an “amble” actually, as he slowly moves forward he rolls his head from side to side and does circles with his shoulders in a way that might make one think he was doing slow-motion modern dance.  When walking back to his starting point he doesn’t turn around, rather he walks backwards while completing the same motions with his body. 

Mr. Slowly-walks-back-and-forth Guy had disappeared for the duration of winter and we were worried that maybe he had moved or that something had happened to him.  However, when the weather finally slightly warmed up he reappeared…. like our very own Chinese “Punxsutawney Phil”!!  Unlike this famous groundhog, however, Mr. Slowly-walks-back-and-forth Guy doesn’t claim to be able to predict the weather.  Even if he did, since 90% of the days here are overcast, it significantly skews the odds toward a short winter.  Rather, his appearance merely signals the onset of spring.  Though it would be appropriate to say that it also marks- in a very unique (“only in China”) way- our steady, ambling approach toward the end of what has been an amazing time here in China.

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Log 47: Visit from the Hayden-Vazquez Family

It has been a long time since our last blog entry.  We apologize for the long gap but we’ve been busy with our ordinary lives in Chengdu that didn’t seem to involve events interesting enough for our blog.  Charles has been busy with school, a presentation at the Consulate on environmental NGOs and facilitating a public speaking course for Peace Corps staff, while I’ve been busy with normal work stuff –assisting one group of volunteers as they prepare to leave China while planning for a new group to arrive at the same time. 

One very extraordinary event did occur in the last few weeks though – a visit from our good friends, Begoña, Daniel and their two kids, Paula (7 years-old) and Andrés (5 years-old).  Paula is my goddaughter and I couldn’t be more proud and impressed with what a wonderful little girl she has become.  I was thrilled to get to know her so much better during their 1 ½ week visit with us.  She and her brother are in a public school in suburban DC that provides them the opportunity to have half of their school day in Mandarin Chinese!  Not only are these kids speaking English and Spanish fluently… they’re on their way to learning their third language!  How many people can claim that before reaching 10 years-old!!!

With an Excel spreadsheet-based plan for their visit (yep, I can be that geeky), we covered all the major highlights in and around Chengdu – the Leshan Grand Buddha, Wenshu temple, Jinli Street, Tianfu Square, Sichuan Opera, and of course a trip to see the pandas.  I had heard that Paula told her friends in Maryland that her godfather in China was going to  “take her to hug a panda”, so this visit was a must.  However, as the visiting family took turns holding the 7-month old cub named Shuyun, I wasn’t sure who was more thrilled – the kids or the parents?  To say that Begoña’s and Daniel’s smiles were ear-to-ear is an understatement.  What a thrill for the family and us. 

We also decided to take them to see Jiuzhaigou, the northern part of the Sichuan province that is home to one of the most beautiful parks we have ever seen.  Although the water was much lower than when we visited Jiuzhaigou last fall, the beauty of this place was still quite a  sight.  And even though it was early April, we were fortunate to have some light snow that covered the area the night before we arrived and on our last day.  As Daniel described during our Tibetan village homestay, the snow covering the trees and foothills leading up to towering mountain peaks was “like confectionary sugar sprinkled across the landscape.”  As light clouds and mist rolled in to the scene, it reminded me of a traditional Chinese  water-color painting.  Although the kids weren’t too excited about the outhouse and no one was thrilled by the freezing cold rooms, the village stay was a highlight for everyone.  The food was amazing, especially the yak meat dumplings for breakfast and the lamb chops for dinner, and the visit to the village’s main stupa to learn Buddhist prayer rituals was memorable. 

The visits to the two nature reserves were enjoyable too.  By a large cascading waterfall formed from limestone, we met a group of  Tibetan ladies.  Their toddler son was thrilled to have an innocent snowball fight with Paula and Andrés.  The other noteworthy even in the main Jiuzhaigou park was Charles, Begoña and I staying in the park a bit too late and almost getting stranded!  Fortunately they have a good emergency phone number system to call for someone to come pick us up as the park was closing.  However, we did consider that there are much worse places in this world to be stuck! 

One of the last things that we did with the Hayden-Vazquez clan was a visit to the moon bear rescue center just outside of Chengdu.  I was unable to go the one time Charles went last year.  The story of the mistreatment of these bears prior to their arrival at this center is just horrifying.  Charles describes their plight extremely well in Log # 38 (September 2008), so if you missed that entry, I encourage you to read it again.  Despite the suffering these bears experience, it was very inspiring and uplifting to have a tour of this center with its founder, Jill Robinson to see the relief and comfort provided to these bears to live their remaining days in peace.  Her compassion and overall sense of unselfishness are contagious.  It reminds me of a quote from Margaret Mead – “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world.  Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

After we said goodbye to our first family of visitors, I was struck by three overriding memories.  First,  these folks, including the kids, could not get enough of the amazing Sichuan food here.  The kids stayed away from the extremely spicy stuff, but at every meal the plates were cleaned and in typical fashion in our family, as we were in the midst of one meal, we were planning the next.  We frequented several of our favorite Sichuan restaurants twice during their visit and they couldn’t stop raving about how delicious the food was.  Second, Chinese folks were absolutely thrilled by Paula and Andrés.  Besides being cute kids, their ability to speak some Chinese impressed everyone that they met.  People everywhere wanted their photos with the kids and we started to joke about charging 5 RMB (US$ 0.75) for this privilege!  While we were in Jiuzhaigou the kids were interviewed by a local television station!  One guy even picked Andrés up and put him on his shoulder for a photo.  The kids (and their parents) were really good sports about the attention – now if that were to happen in America, there might be some lawsuits in the works by now!  Lastly, although the time with Andrés and Paula was wonderful, Charles and I were exhausted… we have a new respect for parents, their patience and for all that they give of themselves for their kids.

Thanks to Begoña, Daniel, Paula and Andrés for the wonderful visit.  Although tired, we have some great memories together in China to cherish for many years to come.

Log 46: Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis !!!!

The day started much like any other day here in China.  Per usual, Marley woke us up earlier than we want to in order to feed her and take her out for her morning walk.  We both left her that morning to go to work and to work-out (I’m on vacation!) respectively.  When I returned from the gym, she greeted me with her usual high-energy greeting.  I prepared my lunch and was just settling down to eat it while watching more reruns of the Beijing Olympics men’ gold-medal ping pong match on TV, when Marley started giving me the signal that she needed to go outside to “do her business”.

This was the first sign that something was wrong.  The diarrhea that came out was the second sign.  However, dogs get diarrhea and she’s had it a few times before so I wasn’t too worried about it at this point.  When you consider where a dog puts its nose (not to mention what makes it into their mouths when you’re not looking) it’s a surprise they don’t get diarrhea more often.  As in previous times when this has happened, we adjusted her food (by exchanging her regular dog food with a bland rice diet) and hoped that she would get it out of her system soon, but she had it again after her dinner that evening.

Our real worry started late that night.  Marley woke us up a total of 5 times to ask us to take her outside and by morning we knew for sure that this wasn’t a typical bout of diarrhea.  In the daylight we also noticed something worrisome about her diarrhea.  It had a little bit of blood in it.  She slept for most of the day which we hoped was a sign that she was improving, but Saturday night ended up being a total nightmare.  Though she had eaten almost nothing and had very little water, she continued to have diarrhea every hour, the amount of blood started to increase, and she also started vomiting.  She was also losing control of it, and was unable to hold it in enough time for us to get her outside.  She knows that this isn’t allowed in the house and it was obvious that in addition to being sick, she also felt really bad about having “accidents” in the house.  It was truly heartbreaking and we were really scared.  To me, her symptoms looked a lot like images I had seen on TV of people in Africa who were suffering from Ebola, a disease that kills people by causing them to lose all of their fluids.  It looked like she had doggy-Ebola.  We immediately made plans with our friend who has a car, to take her to the veterinarian on Sunday morning.

The vet that we go to was introduced to us by our good friend Monica.  Monica is easily one of the most discerning people that we know and of all the pet hospitals here in Chengdu, this was the one that she brought her two beautiful boxers to.  The office had earned a good reputation by saving some puppies from Parvo (a disease that kills an inordinately large percentage of puppies in China) and it was apparent to us that their good reputation was well deserved.  Within minutes of arriving, they tested Marley’s stool and blood, they interviewed us about her symptoms (thank goodness our Chinese is as good as it is AND that we brought our Chinese/English dictionary!) and they immediately started her on an IV. 

Though she had symptoms similar to those of Parvo, the test proved that she didn’t have it (which was also unlikely since she was immunized in the US), and thus the doctors surmised that she had something called Hemorrhagic Gastroenteritis (HGE).  Apparently the jury is still out as to what causes the disease.  It strikes dogs of all types and all ages and when it hits, it hits fast and it hits HARD.  If a dog is not treated immediately, then death is pretty likely.  We found this website about HGE to be very informative:  http://www.thepawblog.com/hemorrhagic-gastroenteritis-hge/.

The prescribed treatment for HGE is an aggressive IV campaign involving antibiotics and steroids.  Dogs with HGE are not allowed to eat or drink, so as to allow their system to heal; therefore the IV is necessary to provide the dogs with food and water.  We were at the veterinarian’s office for a little more than nine hours on Sunday.  Even though Marley still threw up and had diarrhea at the office, it was obvious that the treatment had done some good.  She slept through the night on Sunday.

We returned to the animal hospital on Monday morning and were there for seven hours through her second treatment of IVs and antibiotics.  Her condition continued to improve.  The diarrhea and vomiting had completely disappeared, her energy level had increased, and she started showing signs of interest in food again.  We did the same on Tuesday, and then did a final session on Wednesday.  We spent FOUR full days at the vet.  And while I wouldn’t say that it was particularly fun, I have to say that the experience (once Marley had obviously started to improve) wasn’t that bad.  It was the staff at the office that made all of the difference.  This office is staffed by three veterinarians and 5 vet students.  They are all some of the friendliest people that we’ve met here in Chengdu.  They set us up in a private room (with two comfy chairs, a table, and a TV!) and they came by frequently to chat and to check Marley’s IV.  We actually learned a lot of Chinese while we were there, specifically words related to animals (duh!) and to sickness- all of which are good words to know.  They obviously LOVE their jobs, they love animals, and it was a great feeling to know that we were under the care of these highly professional, very friendly people.  On our last day there, after her final IV treatment, we showed them all of Marley’s tricks.  She was a hit!!

The decision to bring Marley with us to China was really a “no-brainer” for us.  She’s our baby and we couldn’t imagine leaving her with anybody in the US.  In the back of our minds, however, was the worry of the possibility that something might happen to her in China (case in point; her arrival drama, which Chris documented in Log: 1 of this blog), because in the end, it would ultimately be our fault for bringing her here with us.  That said, if something else DOES happen to her here in China, we’re very relieved to know that there are people here who can help us!

This experience really emphasized to us the value of quick and decisive action when it comes to getting your very sick dog to a vet.  Hopefully, now that you know what HGE looks like you’ll also know what you need to do in the event that you recognize the signs.  However, we really hope and pray that you and your dogs never have to go through what we all went through this last week!  Marley appears to be completely over the illness, and we still have her on a bland diet until her insides fully heal, but everything we’ve read says that 10-15% of dogs who get HGE have a relapse, so we’re watching her closely and keeping our fingers crossed!

Log 45: A Happy Birthday and A Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Birthday! (Kunming:  Jan 17-19, 2009)

As the capital of the southern province of Yunnan, Kunming is well known throughout China by its other name:  Chun Cheng, or in English:  “City of Spring”.  They call it this because the weather in Kunming is consistently mild, the skies are predominantly blue, and the people (just like all of the flowers that were blooming everywhere) are pleasant and welcoming.  Chengdu had been cold and gray since we returned from the Philippines and we were already missing the sun and blue skies, so Kunming was the PERFECT selection as a surprise birthday-gift weekend-destination.  Chris really did a great job!

Kunming in and of itself is a great town to explore.  A rich diversity of Chinese ethnic minorities sets it apart culturally from the rest of China and there are many things to do in and around the city.  The two most famous and noteworthy activities are a hike to the Dragon Gate or Long Men, and a visit to the Stone Forest, Shi Lin. 

 

Long Men

is an unimposing wooden gate located on the side of a VERY imposing, high and steep cliff (well over 100 stories tall) just outside of Kunming.  A small stone set under the dragon gate is supposed to impart good luck on whoever touches it, and many Chinese people make the pilgrimage up the cliff to try to add a little luck to their lives.  The hike up the cliff is exhausting, yet beautiful.  The designers of the hike were kind enough to provide multiple areas for resting and viewing, allowing us to catch our breath while appreciating the views of Kunming and of Dian Chi, the fourth largest lake in China, far below.  Beautiful pagodas as well as interesting statues and carvings along the hike were additional welcomed resting places.  Arriving at the gate and touching the stone was an accomplishment….and a sign of good things to come! 

 

Shi Lin, located a couple of hours outside of Kunming is a United Nations Natural Heritage site, and one of the most fascinating spots that we’ve visited in China thus far.  The area is famous for its large group of tall, natural karst stone stelae that create what is literally a forest of rock.  Geological forces and erosion have given the stones weird shapes while at the same time carving a labyrinth of trails that run through, up, over, and around these amazing formations.  It takes several hours to hike the entire park and while walking through these areas and climbing through the formations, we easily imagined ourselves in “Mordor” and (per usual) found ourselves “geeking it up” by quoting lines from the Lord of the Rings movies!!

Now, when a person turns 39, or “the fake age”, as our friend here put it because when you tell people that you’re 39, it usually means that you’re really over-40 and lying about your age, you probably wouldn't expect to find them running around in caves pretending to be a Hobbit.  However, a visit to Shi Lin really brings out the “kid” in a person, which is just one of many reasons why this was such a great 39th birthday!!  It’s going to be difficult to match this birthday present when Chris turns 39 in May.

Woo-hoo!!… Look-out “40”….. here we come!

 

Happy New Year!  Chengdu:  Jan 25, 2009

We took our preparations for the Lunar New Year very seriously this year, conducting many of the traditional Chinese rituals meant to improve luck in the coming year.  I’m not sure why.  Perhaps the year and a half in China has made us a little more superstitious or a little more culturally attuned, or perhaps with everything going on in the world right now (global financial crisis, wars, etc.) we feel like a little extra effort for some extra luck is a sound investment.  In any case, to usher in the New Year one should:

·        Clean the entire house, but put away all brushes and brooms before New Year’s Eve.  Cleaning during the 14 day period between the New Year and the full moon (Lantern Festival) is not advised, lest you sweep “good luck” out the door.

·        Pay off all debts because to start the year in debt is a sure sign that you will end the year in debt.

·        Avoid getting a haircut during the 14 day period, lest you also cut away your good fortune.

·        Wear bright colors (particularly RED) on New Year’s Eve, which symbolizes wealth, happiness, and life.

·        As a part of New Year’s dinner eat whole fish, whole chicken, or dumplings which symbolize abundance, growth, and fortune.

·        Light firecrackers and fireworks to drive away evil spirits.

·        And at the stroke of midnight open all the doors and windows of the house to allow the old year out and to let the good luck in.

A lot of foreigners try to leave China during the two week Spring Festival Holiday period that starts with the Lunar New Year and ends with the first full moon of the year on Lantern Festival day, 14 days later.  The time-off is a nice excuse to travel, but   in our opinion, the Spring Festival is the BEST time to be here.  This is the most important holiday in China, combining aspects of our American Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Year’s celebrations, in addition to a host of other things that make it a uniquely Chinese holiday.

One of our favorite aspects of the holiday is the fireworks.  The display is absolutely unlike anything that you are likely to see anywhere else in the world.  In the United States we have nice 40 or so minute shows conducted in designated areas by fireworks specialists.  Here it is a free-for-all in the truest sense of the words.  Fireworks are available to all who can afford them (and they’re not too expensive) at fireworks stands conveniently distributed on every-other-block throughout the city.  The variety that are available for purchase is remarkable, and the quality is comparable to any that we’ve seen in the best American fireworks shows (yes, even the show on the Washington DC Mall).  People set them off wherever there is an open space:  in street intersections, on bridges, and in the courtyards of building complexes (including ours!).  On New Year’s Eve, people start setting them off as soon as the sun goes down, building up to a midnight “extravaganza” (a word that I do NOT use lightly) of ear-blowing, mind-exploding, far-as-the-eye-can-see,  light-and-noise.  It’s very cool. 

A funny “lost in translation” story:  They have a type of firework here that- for lack of a better description- looks like a big “Harry Potter wand”.  It is a tube that emits a series of about 15 or so sparkly bursts (about 20 feet long) from the tip and you can hold it in your hand.  We asked our Chinese friends what they were called with the intent of buying some at our local fireworks stand.  That night, Chris lit his and held it aloft, waiting for the action to start.  But what came out of his “wand” was far from the pleasant "whoosh and sparkle" that we were expecting.  With a loud “thump” his wand ejected a firework roughly 70 feet into the air which, at its apogee, exploded into a fairly significant firework!!!  Scary!  You can imagine that all Chris wanted to do was to drop the thing and run (which would have been disastrous for all of us!) but he bravely held onto it until (five explosions later!) it was used up!!  Needless to say, I stuck mine into one of the many discarded fireworks stands, lit it, and ran away to watch from a nice (safe) distance.

On the softer side, it is also traditional to release hot-air lanterns during the Spring Festival period.  These paper and wire lanterns come with a paraffin-wax ball that attaches to its base.  To use the lantern you simply light the wax on fire and hold it outstretched until it is filled with enough warm air to make it rise.  They look absolutely gorgeous, lit from within by the paraffin flame, as they float away into the night sky, and on Lantern Festival night the sky is literally filled with these floating candles.  The Chinese people believe that the lantern carries your wishes and prayers (which you actually write on the lantern) up and away for you, delivering them to the great wish-granter in the sky.  We purchased a pair during the Mid-Autumn Festival last September, but never got to use them.  I had decorated one with a prayer for Obama to win the Presidency.  Seeing as how that prayer was already answered, for New Year’s we used the lantern to wish him and his cabinet success in leading our country through these very difficult times.  We also asked for peace in this world, for a cleaner environment, and for health, happiness, and success for ourselves, our families, and all of our friends.  A crowd of our neighbors gathered around to help us launch our lantern, and they enthusiastically shared our well wishes for President Obama and our hopes for the improvement of all aspects of this world that we share.

This is the Year of the Ox, an animal renowned for its strength, determination, and perseverance, and all signs indicate that- despite a rough start- it is going to be a really good year!  Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

Incidentally, we finally did find the “Harry Potter wand” fireworks that we were looking for.  And you can bet that we set them off from our sixth-floor balcony, while striking wizard poses and screaming “Expelliarmus!!” and “Stupefy!!!” (and if these words mean anything at all to you then you’re just as geeky as we are!).

Log 44: Philippines

One of the benefits of living in China is that we’re only about a three hour flight from some of Southeast Asia’s greatest destinations.  Between the two of us we’ve already visited Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Cambodia, and the Philippines, some of them multiple times, and before we leave the region we hope to add Laos and Vietnam to the list.

We’ve liked them all, however the Philippines, with its tremendous VARIETY, is one of our favorites.  It also helps, of course, that I have family there.  My Mom and Dad moved back to the Philippines after their retirement in 2000, and built their dream house on a beach in the beautiful Province of Batangas. 

The Philippines is also warm and sunny, especially compared to Chengdu, so it was the ideal Christmas/New Years destination for us.  Actually, we’re surprised that more people don’t go to the Philippines to spend their vacations.  The food is great, the scenery is amazing and varied, prices are downright cheap- even in comparison to the rest of Southeast Asia, and the people speak English (with the most endearing Filipino accent)!  It’s also relatively safe and stable, making it the perfect vacation destination.

The “comfort food” of Asia-  Filipino cuisine isn’t the most beautiful (Japanese), varied (Chinese), or flashy (Thai), but it is able to hold its own against the best Asian cuisines.  Due to its location and history, Filipino cooking is heavily influenced by other Asian as well as Spanish and American cuisines.  You see evidence of this in dishes like adobo (Spanish) and pancit (Chinese).  Depending on the region of the Philippines, dishes can be hot and spicy, sweet and tangy, or heavy and saucy.  Influenced by the seas that surround the islands, seafood dishes are a highlight and fish flavors are present throughout.  I’ll admit, the final product doesn’t tend to be the most aesthetically pleasing (dishes are predominantly brown and stewy looking), which would be one explanation as to why there aren’t more Filipino restaurants out there, but the tastes more than make up for the appearance. 

If you have a Filipino friend, the chances are pretty good that you’ve tried some Filipino dishes.  We express our joy, our thanks, and our love through our food, which may be one reason why Filipinos eat five times a day!  Between breakfast and lunch, and between lunch and dinner many people eat (slightly) smaller meals known as “merienda”, which translates to “snack”.  It seemed that while we were there we spent a huge amount of our time eating, which would explain the 7 lbs that I gained there!

Five-star service and surroundings, all at a 3-star price-  We spent a few days at the  Vivere Azure Resort, only a little more than a hour drive from my parent’s house in Batangas, and we loved it.  The resorts in the Philippines are amazing.  For a third of the price that you would pay at comparable resorts in other countries, you are pampered and fed by the most courteous staff you will ever meet, in some of the most beautiful surroundings you will ever visit.  

The customer service in the Philippines is simply outstanding, and I’m not just saying this because we spent the last year in China (where the service sector is fairly new and they’re just learning) or the ten years before that in Washington DC (where customer service is essentially non-existent and rudeness from customer service reps. is the norm). 

One day, while at Vivere, we decided that we wanted to hire a boat to take us out to a small island that we could see from the resort.  The conversation went something like this:

Chris:  Hi Elmer.  We’d like to go to Sombrero Island tomorrow.  Could somebody arrange that for us?

Elmer:  No problem sir.

Chris:  Great.  We'd like to leave after breakfast, spend the morning snorkeling there, and then return at around 1:30 or so for a late lunch.

Elmer:  Of course.  Would you like us to pack your morning merienda for a picnic?

Chris:  That would be nice.  Thank you.

Elmer:  Do you need to borrow snorkeling gear?

Charles:  No thank you.  We brought our own.  But could we get some fresh beach towels?

Elmer:  Certainly sir.  Would you like to make your lunch selections now so that they’re ready when you return tomorrow afternoon? (handing us the lunch menu).

 

You get the picture……  When we arrived on the island the guys laid out a mat and beach pillows for us to sit on, and told us where the best snorkeling could be found.  After snorkeling for a while, we took a rest break during which they served us our merienda and fresh fruit juice.  We had a delicious picnic, sitting on pillows on a white-sand beach of a deserted island, and to top it off we had a waiter!  It just doesn’t get any better……

 

Table-top, Staghorn, Mushroom, and Brain….. they sound like the ingredients of a Filipino delicacy, but instead they’re the names of some of the many types coral that we saw while snorkeling the reefs in the Philippines.  Some might say that diving is a better way to view the wonders of a coral reef, and I would agree that if you really want to see it all up close and underwater, then diving is definitely the way to go.  But diving is also costly, bulky, and somewhat of a hassle, especially considering that much of the same stuff can be seen when snorkeling… for which the only equipment necessary is a mask, a snorkel, and a bathing suit (which in some places may actually be optional….). 

Snorkeling is also one of those outdoor activities that can be described as being both active AND relaxing.  My preferred approach to snorkeling is to swim against the current for a while and then to turn around, allowing the current to slowly bring me back to my starting point.  A snorkeler is the ultimate voyeur.  When floating over these bustling undersea communities, like some human Goodyear Blimp (in more ways than one!), it struck me that there’s almost too much stuff to look at!  You can spend hours over the same spot and still find new and interesting things that you hadn’t previously noticed.

Like many of the other reefs around the world, which are struggling due to pollution and siltation, over-fishing by humans, and rising sea levels and temperatures, the reefs of the Philippines are struggling as well.  If you’ve never been snorkeling, but have always wanted to, pick a place and go now! 

The way Filipinos talk  As a kid, I was very glad that my parents didn’t teach me Tagalog and that I didn’t speak English with a Filipino accent.  I thought it sounded silly and would brand me as a “FOB” (Fresh off the Boat), which for any young Filipino in San Diego, was not a term that you wanted anyone to use while describing you.  As an adult I look back on this and think, “Stupid kid, you really missed out”. 

Because Filipinos speak English, because they tend to be well educated in professional fields that many countries lack (nursing, engineering, etc.), and because of their reputations as diligent and trustworthy workers (service industry, nannies, domestic workers) you’re likely to run into working Filipinos pretty much anywhere you go in this world.  The fact of the matter is that they make much more money overseas than they would doing the same job in the Philippines, and many end up supporting their families and even their extended families through remittances sent back home.  In fact, I’ve once heard it said that “the Philippines’ #1 export is their people”.  This is probably true because over the course of my travels I’ve met many and one of the first things that they always ask a Filipino-American is if you can speak the national language of the Philippines:  Tagalog.  When I reply “no”, the response is usually a sad shake of their head before asking me the second question that Filipinos always ask:  “Where, in the Philippines, are your parents from?”

My folks made a conscious decision to NOT teach us Tagalog because they didn’t want us to speak English with a Filipino accent.  They didn’t know what parents know now, that if you teach a kid another language early enough in their development, they can learn both languages without developing accents.  They rarely spoke Tagalog anyways, preferring to speak Illocano (one of the prevalent languages of northern Luzon) at home.  While I can only speak a few words in Illocano, over the course of growing up in a bilingual household, and because Spanish words and English words are often thrown into a conversation between two Filipinos (as a result of the Spanish and American influence), I am usually able to get the gist of a conversation.  The mixture of three different languages is actually a little odd.  Because I grew up with it I hardly even notice, but Chris thought it was hilarious and kept pointing it out!  Here’s an example of what a television interview between a television reporter and a person shopping at a mall sounded like to us:

TV reporter:  Babble, babble, babble, “last minute Christmas shopping”, babble, babble, babble?

Shopper: Babble, babble, (Spanish word), babble, babble, “good price!” babble, babble.

TV reporter:  Babble, babble, babble, babble, “Nintendo Wii”, babble, babble?

Shopper:  Babble, “good luck” babble, babble (Spanish word), babble, babble!

 

Tagalog pronunciation affects the way that Filipinos speak English, essentially changing pronunciation of “F’s” to a “P” sound, changing “V’s” to “B’s”, and adding “es” before any word that starts with an “S” (ex:  “es-spaghetti”).  Filipinos will also, on occasion, lengthen or emphasize different syllables in an English word.  All together, these make for an endearing “Taglish” accent that I NOW think is kinda cute.  There are a zillion jokes that poke fun at the accent.  One of my favorites is:  “What does a Filipino call two airplane pilots?”  “A pair of pliers!”. 

 

Filipino cover-bands-  In addition to the language, the extended colonial presence of both Spain and the United States has influenced Filipino musical traditions and schools of thought, making them completely different from the rest of Asia (in effect making the music more appealing to our western ear….as opposed to say…. Beijing Opera and Bollywood musicals!).  This, and what some think is a genetic predisposition toward excellent ability in singing and dancing (the origins of the phrase “Filipinos are the Blacks of Asia”) is no more apparent than in the very large number of really great cover bands that come from the Philippines. 

On New Year’s Eve we ventured to Malate, a section of Manila known for its fun clubs and bars (including “the Hobbit House”- a bar that is completely staffed by midgets!).  We ended up at a place called “Bedrock” (Flinstones themed) where not one, but TWO Filipino cover bands were rocking the house!  We brought in the New Year, dancing to their excellent covers of songs like Shakira’s “Hips don’t Lie”, and a spot-on cover of the Black Eyed Peas’ “Let’s Get it Started”.

So it would appear that my folks picked a pretty good place to retire.  Though this isn’t to say that the Philippines doesn’t have its problems.  Corruption runs rampant, particularly in the government, the workings of which are closely followed (like the really bad soap-opera that it is) by the Filipino people.  In addition, 13 or so “A-list” families pretty much run the country.  They own over 90% of the land, have their hands in the country’s major media, business, and government sectors, and to an outsider it looks a lot like a feudal system, with serfs and everything….  Oh, and a separatist movement that is spearheaded by militant Islamists and based out of the southernmost island, Mindanao, erupts every now and then to threaten the country’s stability.   

That said, it is still a great place to visit.  It will be interesting to see what happens in the Philippines over the next 5 or so years, but for now if you’re thinking of visiting Southeast Asia, we recommend that you consider a visit to the Philippines.  We think you’ll like it as much as we did!

Log 43: A Tale of Two Christmases

Chengdu, China (December 20, 2008)

Christmas….  Offices across the United States are having their annual “Holiday” parties, Secret Santa’s are being revealed, and White Elephant presents are being opened and taken away, opened and taken away again..….  The annual Office Holiday Party has, over the last couple of decades, evolved into a significant American pop-culture event.  It’s something that we look forward to with a combination of dread (“ugh….. we have to socialize with the folks from the 14th floor”) and anticipation (“who do you think is going to get drunk and make an ass of themselves this year?”).  And for better or worse, we continue to expose the Chinese staff here in Chengdu, to some of our finest American-office holiday traditions. 

For the second year in a row, we hosted the (2nd) Annual Peace Corps China Holiday party at our house.  The event is a potluck which works out well because all of Chris’ co-workers are excellent cooks.  In an effort to release our “inner Martha Stewart” we planned artsy activities for people to do.  Last year everyone decorated X-mas ornaments and this year the project was Christmas cookies.

And of course, there are the games.  Last year, we introduced the staff to the concept of the “Secret Santa” culminating in the “big reveal” at the party.  The Chinese staff thoroughly embraced the game and played it with such skill that you’d think they too were Federal Employees with “10-year service” pins.  This year we introduced the staff to the concept of a “White Elephant” gift exchange, the game that involves purchasing a gift valued at a set a amount, drawing numbers to determine the order of opening the presents, and then the often hilarious process of either “stealing” the gifts that other’s have opened, or choosing to open a new one.  In preparation for the inevitable “why is it called a White Elephant gift exchange” question from the staff, Chris discovered that the name originates in Thailand.  A white elephant in Thailand (and everywhere else for that matter) is extremely rare, and thus is a precious and significant gift.  However, a white elephant is also sacred and therefore is not allowed to do labor.  Hence the term a “white elephant gift”, used to describe a very nice, but essentially useless present.

We had some initial concerns about how a white-elephant gift exchange might play-out in the Chinese cultural context.  Certain Chinese cultural mores conflict with how the game should be played.  For example, in China when presented with a gift, it is appropriate to thank the gift-giver profusely, to admire the packaging, and then to place the gift aside.  It is not appropriate to open the gift in front of the gift giver.  A few days before the party, Chris spoke with some Volunteers who had mixed results when they tried to introduce the game to their students.  One Volunteer found that her students were extremely uncomfortable with “stealing” presents from each other and only selected unopened gifts when their turns came up.  Another Volunteer had a very different experience.  In his class, several students vigorously pursued their option to “steal” presents from their classmates, which resulted in some hurt feelings and made several students cry!

Like us, however, the Chinese staff of the Peace Corps are also at a cultural crossroads between American and Chinese cultures, and they have also adapted as necessary.  And as with everything else that we’ve introduced them to (ask Chris about the “Electric Slide” one day!) the staff approached the game with gusto and in the end it was a huge hit! 

 

Batangas, Philippines (December 23-25^th, 2008)

Getting to the Philippines from Chengdu was surprisingly quick…. two hours from Chengdu to Hong Kong, and then less than an hour and a half from Hong Kong to Manila.  In fact we got from Hong Kong to Manila in less time than it took to drive through the always-crazy Manila-traffic from the Ninoy Aquino Airport (named after the husband of former President Corazon Aquino, he was assassinated there in 1983 while deboarding a plane) to our parent’s condo in the southern section of town known as Alabang, a distance of only about five miles.  Batangas, the Province where my parents built their beachside house, was a beautiful two-hour drive south of Manila, through towns and villages that were decorated for Christmas.  And it should come as no surprise that in the Philippines, a country composed of over 90% Roman Catholics, Christmas is a BIG DEAL.

Case in point, when we arrived at their house, we found the place abuzz with my parent’s neighborhood friends and employees, who all came to assist in the preparations for our Christmas Feast, which included the slaughter of TWO of my mother’s 47 remaining pigs (she had already sold 13 pigs to various local families for their own celebrations).  To describe the meal as a “feast” is no exaggeration.  They prepared among other dishes:  Lechon (a spit-roasted whole pig ), pancit (a noodle dish with lots of vegetables), and kare-kare (a stew made from ox-tails and peanuts).  For dessert we had various fresh fruits such as pineapple, mango, and mangosteen,, and my mom cooked babinka (a dish made from grated cassava and sweetened by coconut milk and brown sugar).  These are some of my all-time favorite Filipino dishes!!! 

The immediate family members of the people who helped to prepare the feast joined us for our Christmas meal, so in all there were about 25 or so of us celebrating Christmas together.  It was nice to meet all of the people who have become my parent’s “family” in Batangas, all of whom understand and appreciate the opportunities to improve their lives and the lives of their children that working for my parents has provided for them.

 

The locations of our two Christmas celebrations couldn’t have been more drastically different.  In Chengdu, night-time temperatures were nearing freezing.  The sun hadn’t made an appearance in several weeks and it hadn’t rained in several months resulting in air quality that would, in Southern California at least, require that school-children spend their recesses indoors.  The air in Batangas, on the other hand, was fresh and clean and tinged with the slightly salty smell of the sea.  The breeze was constant and the sun was warm without being too hot. 

Our two Christmas celebrations were very different, but between the two celebrations there was one striking similarity:  we were surrounded by friends and family.  As I had stated in last year’s Christmas blog, spending the Holidays away from home isn’t easy.  After more than a year in China however, we’ve manage to make a home here.  We also realized that “home” isn’t necessarily where all your stuff is, or the place where you sleep for the largest percentage of a year.  You can find “home” wherever your family congregates.  This year, it happened to be in the Philippines.  Next year…... we’re open to suggestions!

Christmas 2008 was wonderful and we hope that yours was wonderful as well!

Log 42: Thanksgiving in China, Year 2

With Christmas quickly approaching, I wanted to post a brief description of our second Thanksgiving in China before it’s too late. During last year’s Thanksgiving, we had a relaxing evening with the American staff at a fancy hotel restaurant. The company was wonderful and the meal was especially nice because there was no preparation beforehand and no dishes to wash afterwards! This year we decided to not only return to our American traditions by preparing food, but we also wanted to share this American holiday with my Chinese colleagues and their families.

It was a potluck event, for which we took responsibility for: the turkey, cornbread stuffing, gravy and two pumpkin pies! The rest of the staff brought side dishes, which included a wide variety of tasty Sichuan dishes such as: dried tofu with celery, a spicy beef dish, chicken with chestnuts, spicy fried potatoes and several other vegetables. One staff member made “pancakes” (like the pancakes you get with moo-shu pork at a Chinese restaurant in the U.S.), so that we could see how turkey tasted when served “Beijing-Duck style” (wrapped in pancakes with plum sauce!) – by the way, it was very good; and you should try this sometime if you’re tired of ‘plain’ turkey. In case you’re wondering, one of the Chinese staff made mashed potatoes, which is a Chinese dish too and no, we did not have rice.

For almost all of the Chinese staff, this was their first turkey. People were so curious about the experience that they asked me to not “chop up” the turkey before they arrived… they wanted to take a photo of it! And indeed that’s what happened – nearly everyone wanted a photo with the bird. It was also funny when we took the turkey out of the oven and then let it “rest” for 20-30 minutes. Everyone was ready to eat and couldn’t understand why they had to wait, especially since Chinese food is typically eaten within minutes of cooking! In addition, the meal was late by over an hour due to a poor cooking time estimate on my part – but that’s part of the Thanksgiving tradition too!...that or forgetting rolls in the oven. In any case, the turkey was a big hit!

Charles’ pumpkin pies, with fresh whipped cream and heath bar crumbles on top, were also popular. Everyone left   with belly aches from eating too much, which is right in line with this American pastime, and everyone left with a take-home bag to share the leftovers with family members who couldn’t come because while they (as Peace Corps staff) had the day off, their spouses had to work and their children had to go to school.

Apart from being thankful for a loving family and great friends back home, this year I am especially thankful for the amazing staff who I work with in Chengdu, and who continue to make Peace Corps China such a fun and enjoyable place to work. Holidays away from home are always a little tough, but sharing Thanksgiving with this group of folks makes being away from home a little bit more tolerable.

Log 41: VOTE (revisited)

Well here we are, the day before what is probably the most important presidential election in recent US history.  Looking back on the last six or so months, I ask myself if what I’ve done and what I’ve tried to do has been enough- “enough”, being a relative term.  Compared to the people who have been hosting fund-raisers, leading voter registration drives, calling undecided voters and going door to door in an effort to educate voters on Obama’s many virtues, what I’ve done over the last six months pales in comparison. 

So what have I done thus far?

1.       I wrote a letter to the San Diego Chargers Front Office, the SD Chargers Community Involvement Office, and to their two major stars:  running-back- LaDanian Tomlinson, and quarterback- Phillip Rivers.  The letter reads as follows:

Hello,

I have been a San Diego Chargers fan for over 30 years and my father was a long-time season-ticket holder before he retired and moved away from San Diego.  I recently read in an ESPN on-line article that the San Diego Chargers organization is the largest sports-related donor to the “John McCain for president” campaign (over $23K donated thus far).  I am writing to tell you how EXTREMELY disappointed I was to learn of this fact and how embarrassed I am that my favorite NFL team has decided to use their money and influence to support this candidate.  I ask you to seriously reconsider your support of John McCain and to please extend some public support to the candidate in this year's presidential election who will best serve the people of the United States of America, Barack Obama. 

Thank you. 

Charles Enciso 

PS  Good luck this year!!! 

(*** Note*** the Chargers are having a CRAP year this year….donating to McCain = bad karma…..).

2.       I convinced an American student who is also studying Chinese in my program at Sichuan University to register to vote.  It was interesting to note the generational differences between her and me (she’s working on obtaining her Bachelor’s degree).  At 22, this “kid” has only voted in one election (2004) and she’s old enough to clearly remember and understand the fiasco that was the 2000 election.  She was unhappy with both outcomes and her cynicism toward the election process is understandable, if not justified, but her way of expressing her dissatisfaction (by NOT voting) was (in my opinion) unacceptable.

 

So what I said to her was that in choosing to NOT participate in the political process she has willingly forfeited one of her most fundamental rights as an American and suggested that she might as well take it further by renouncing her citizenship and becoming Chinese (an effective approach when one lives in China).  This seemed to work.  She registered online and I believe that she showed other students how to register to vote on-line as well, so there may have been more!

 

3.       We donated money.  The Obama campaign received it in drips and drabs (through frequent online donations and through t-shirt purchases off of the Obama-For-President website), and while we came nowhere near the maximum allowable per-person donation amount (keep in mind that I have no job!), it feels good to know that we were part of the record-breaking fund-raising efforts of this campaign and have given it the spending flexibility that has allowed for some surprising creativity.

 

4.       I have selectively (read:  “without being too irritating to my friends and colleagues”) forwarded interesting and informative articles and emails regarding the presidential and vice presidential candidates.  I should take this opportunity to thank all of you who forwarded them to me in the first place!  I appreciated each and every one of them.

 

5.       I wrote a letter to the Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) company.  PG&E supplies electricity to the majority of the state and the company publicly supported the efforts to keep gay-marriage legal in California.  Conservatives placed “Proposition 8” on the California ballot to take the right to marry away from gays and lesbians.  As a result of their support of “NO on 8”, PG&E was inundated by hate-mail from many people (much of it came from out of state….including many from- of all places- Utah….you know… the state where they allow old men to marry MULTIPLE, 14 year old girls……..).  My letter was a simple and heartfelt “thank you” for their support.  It reads as follows: 

Mr. Darbee and Ms. McFadden,

 

I wanted to thank you for the financial and moral support that you and Pacific Gas & Electric have given to the "No on Proposition 8" efforts of the Human Rights Campaign and other such organizations active in California.

 

I grew up in San Diego, but haven't lived in California for almost 15 years.  My father was a dedicated employee of your sister-company, San Diego Gas and Electric, for more than three decades.  I'm currently overseas (writing to you from Chengdu, China).  My husband and I (we were married in Canada) moved here over a year ago after 10 years of living and working in Washington DC.  Our hope is to eventually return home to California. 

 

It's interesting to view "America" from this perspective.  Outwardly, there appears to be so much to despair about.  The world is experiencing a financial crisis, the blame for which rests largely on American shoulders, and after the last eight years of failed policy and poor executive leadership, our global reputation is so low as to be non-existent.  It is apparent that the rest of the world is critically watching the upcoming November election with the expectation that it will expose the United States as a bigoted, homophobic, and racist nation that talks a big game about equality and rights, but is hypocritical to the core. 

 

I was extremely moved by the fact that you and your respected company have taken a stand to support the logical decision made by the California Supreme Court to allow gay marriage in California.  It gives me hope that what I have been seeing from here isn’t a “downward spiral”, but is in fact the “dark before the dawn”.  When Proposition 8 is defeated, and I so fervently hope that it will be, please know that in the hearts and minds of many people (gay and straight alike) this public stand that you have made for equality and fairness in California will be remembered and appreciated for a very long time.

 

Sincerely,

Charles Enciso

 

6.       Last, but definitely NOT least……. we VOTED!!  We completed our absentee California ballots and Gloria hand-carried them back to the United States several weeks ago.  Obviously….. of everything that we did to try to impact this election, voting was by far the most important.  So….if you do (or have done) NOTHING ELSE regarding this election but vote, you will have done MORE than enough. 

 

However…. If you have time on election-day to monitor polling stations, or to bring people to the stations so that they can vote too…. That would also be greatly appreciated!

 

PLEASE VOTE on November 4^th (or earlier if you can)!!! 

THANK YOU!